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Posted by: Molly Tami on Aug 1, 2017

Trashing the Guilt

Many women lawyers suffer from guilt over working too much (or not enough), shortchanging their kids and families on quality (and quantity) time, and in general, failing to be the perfect partner, mother, daughter, friend, worker, etc. Most of us have been there at one point in our lives. As we chase the last wave of feminism, isn’t it time we trashed the guilt and lived our lives on our own terms?

To further explore this, let’s revisit the topic of networking. In my last blog post, I urged lawyers to pursue yoga (as opposed to golf) for networking and making meaningful connections. How about we embrace other traditional women’s activities as great opportunities for networking, while trashing the guilt we’ve been conditioned to feel over taking time from the workday to enjoy such things? 

For example, would you feel justified attending a non-work related “hat luncheon” to support a philanthropic cause?  New York City women lawyers and business executives did just that at the annual Central Park Women’s Committee luncheon. And in doing so, they embraced the idea that “We’re Ladies, We Lunch and We Like It.” As one female lawyer attendee noted, "Men have their golf outings, we have this.” Another attendee noted that men would never apologize about leaving the office to go play golf and they don’t feel uncomfortable blurring lines between pleasure and business. So why should women?  (Be sure to click on the link and read the article to see the fabulous hats worn at the luncheon!)

I recently discovered that I too am a lady, who lunches, and likes it! I became a new member of ZLAC Rowing Club here in San Diego, (the oldest women’s rowing club in the country), and I attended the club’s annual Terrace Luncheon. (Disclaimer: the luncheon occurred on a Saturday so I did not have to miss work to attend.) I’m not much of a hat person, but in keeping with the club’s traditions and inspired by the ladies of NYC who attended the Central Park Women’s Committee luncheon, I donned a (borrowed) hat, put on a summery dress and enjoyed a spectacular Saturday afternoon luncheon on the club’s lovely terrace in Pacific Beach.

So ladies, let’s continue to chase the last wave and like the women at the NYC luncheon, feel no more guilt for guilty pleasures!

Molly Tami, who serves as the Assistant Dean for Career & Professional Development at USD School of Law, is passionate about advancing women in the legal profession.


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